It's a strange world out there

These be five ridiculous things you did not know about the world you live in:

 

Walker's drops out on a dog day

 

I thought Scott Walker had a good chance to get the GOP nomination.  I was wrong. According to his spokesperson today as reported on Fox, Newsmax (which makes Fox look like a bunch of liberals) and CBS, tomorrow he will announce that he is not going to run so that fundraisers can turn their attention to the other contestants. His reason - he's allergic to dogs. This sounds crazy, of course, but no president has been elected since Roosevelt who did not have a dog or dogs. Walker's allergy is rather severe, leading to huge sneezing fits. It happened just before an appearance once after which he was red-nosed and stuffed the entire speech.  No one on his staff has a dog. No one he spends much time with has a dog.  Is it that big a deal? Apparently, yes, because his pollsters told him - you have no chance once this becomes public news. Already there are threats from people that they will handle their dogs and shake hands with him at public events. It's a sick world out there, folks.

 

Iran's curious delegate:

 

One Jamshid "Jimmy" Delshad is a deputy negotiator for Iran. Though distantly related to the Supreme Leader, he was born in America to Iranian parents, is actually a dual Iranian-American citizen (which you can be if it happened before 1978) and went to Harvard Law School, graduating in 1991, with Barack Obama.  After law school, he moved back to Iran with his parents, who though having lived in America for nearly 30 years, decided they should have been part of the revolution too. Obama, who is not on the negotiating team, claims not to remember him. That is a little unlikely, as Delshad was also on Law Review with him. I guess it was a long time ago. I suppose if I didn't know someone well at law school, I would not remember their name much later on.

 

Obama's Bibi problem:

 

Obama has bigger problems. What's a dad to do? He and Bibi have been going at it hammer and tongs for a couple of years now and it gets worse and worse every month. Bibi's younger daughter - Yael, just 17, is not happy with Obama though.  Of course, we'd expect that. Problem is, her actual "best friend forever" kind of likes Obama. No surprise there either, because Yael's bff is Obama's daughter, Sasha, who keep in daily contact via email with her since Bibi and Yael's first visit here in 2009. So far, apparently, it has not caused a rupture of the young friendship. But, at some point? We'll have to see. According to Obama's first spokesperson, Robert  Gibbs, who broke this story during an interview, it is the main reason that Obama has not said far worse things about Bibi than he already has.

 

The International Space Station and the marriage problem:

 

For some 20 years now, female astronauts, American, Russian, and from other nations, have been inhabitants of the relatively tiny International Space Station for extended periods of time.  I wonder what problems that has caused?  Hmmm?  Hmmm?  Oh, I know - they are going to start having relationships with each other. Of course, there are very, very strict rules against it. How many couples have paired up since it became co-ed?  Well, there have been six marriages, 3 of which are between American male astronauts and Russian female cosmonauts. How many other female astro/cosmonauts have had relationships started on board looking down at that romantic view of earth? According to Maria Feodorovna, the first Russian cosmonaut among them to marry - all of them.

 

Speaking of NASA, what does it do when a majority of retired astronauts say that there are flying saucers visiting us from other planets:

 

There's not much they can do about the astronauts when they retire, and a majority of the 142 retired astronauts still alive (and some dead) claim they have seen them and that they accompany every space mission.  The late Neil Armstrong claimed that there were not only alien bases on the moon (verified by Buzz Aldrin) but that they were warned off by them.  That's why the few visits afterwards were very brief. But, after that, he would say no more. Aldrin was very big on the UFO circuit and often speaks at conventions. And, as is well known, there have been captured transmissions heard by Ham radio enthusiasts that NASA thought they blocked of astronauts discussing the very matter.

 

In fact, 41 of the retired astronauts have signed a letter to President Obama asking him to STOP THE MADNESS and release all of the transcripts they themselves made in space or which otherwise seems to prove the existence of extraterrestrials.

 

 Of course, the number 41 has great significance, because it also symbolizes today's date - 4/1 -otherwise known as April Fools Day. Meaning, of course, not much I wrote above is true.

 

Well, Scott is allergic to dogs, but of course it is not keeping him out of the race. Don't be ridiculous.

 

The bit about the Iranian-American delegate is totally made up. Well, actually, Jamshid "Jimmy" Delshad is an actual Iranian-American, but he was born over there and moved here and is a recent mayor of Beverly Hills.  As if Iran would trust Iranians who was born in and lived in America for decades to represent them.

 

I don't even know if Bibi Netanyahu has a daughter, though I guess I could have googled that. Yael is actually the Hebrew name of my sister.

 

As for the space station, there have been woman up there, but all the rest is made up. And Maria Feodorovna was the wife and mother of some Russian czars back in the 19th century, not an astronaut.

 

As for the astronauts who believe in UFOs, well, that was not totally made up. At least some seem to believe it though there is a lot of misinformation on the internet about it. The big story you can read is about things Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin supposedly said about Apollo 11, but, the stories do not seem credible to me after reading enough about it. Unless, of course, the men in black got to our friendly astronauts first and warned them off.

 

Personally, I do not believe we are being visited by extraterrestrials for two reasons. One, if they travel on ships and visit other planets, then they are enough like us that I believe they would either have killed, enslaved, fought with or eaten us long ago. Two, if they have traveled millions of miles, perhaps light years, then their technology has to be so much more advanced than ours that they could watch us from Venus and listen to everything we say easily with remote devices without risking detection. Remember, our own telescopes can see to what we believe is the center of the known universe and our satellites can read license plates on cars. What could an extraterrestrial vehicle able to travel the universe do in comparison?

 

But, if astronauts want to believe it, it is fine with me. Happy April Fools Day.