Enough is enough!

Full disclosure: Governor Cuomo once looked hard at me through the television screen. I didn’t like his tone and felt belittled and unsafe. Can I be number 8? It wouldn’t be much sillier than some of these claims against him.

The skinny: Cuomo may be guilty of impeachable offenses related to the nursing home scandal. Maybe we will get to the bottom of it. But, the sexual harassment complaints? Please. I don’t believe that 6 of the 7 sexual harassment complaints made against him even constitute sexual harassment, even if they come across creepy. And, even if the sixth is clearly harassment, not only is that anonymous, but I don’t believe any of them (except for Ana Liss, where there just isn’t anything even approaching harassment and he acknowledges that it describes his typical behavior). I don’t believe them because politics is involved and thanks to the war on men, mostly white men, our society is undergoing. Does he deserve these attacks, nevertheless? Of course he deserves to be treated unfairly. He is one more politician who lent his voice and power to the woke/cancel culture and thus, like Al Franken, who in normal times, deserved at most a “tsk, tsk” for being a clown, reaps what he sowed. Worst of all, if they impeach Cuomo on this, or force him to resign, they’d have to shoot Biden – except for the stunning hypocrisy of the left.

My bias. Let me get my bias against him out front. I am politically opposed to Gov. Cuomo of NY. He is part of the wave of left-wing craziness going on in this country, although certainly not the worst part. He has led NY further left, including dangerously when it comes to bail “reform,” and tragically when it comes to abortion. I have always thought since I became more familiar with him as New York’s AG, that he was a bully and over-zealous.

But, as much as I don’t like him, I do not think that the first five “sexual harassment” claims (which I’ll go over) or the seventh amount to at least pre-“woke” culture amount to sexual harassment – and I don’t take the one more serious sounding claim as viable because it’s anonymous. As NY, led by him, has reduced the standard for sexual harassment by law, the balance is tipped in favor of his culpability for almost any behavior that would trouble the most easily offended person. And, sadly, after the Kavanaugh hearing I just can’t believe any claims involving politics that are not proved beyond a reasonable doubt too seriously. The Democrats, in their blood-thirsty desire to punish Trump by stonewalling Kavanaugh, literally broke our system with their behavior, hysteria and hypocrisy.

I’ll address the claims against Cuomo one at a time.

Personally, I despise the NYTs, which was for most of my life my favorite paper and then “news” website, but is now literally a rag that lies and distorts without conscience. But, I went to them for this information because I think they will present the “evidence” in the most politically woke way against Cuomo. I do this because I am partially defending Cuomo (really, our society as we hustle down Fascist Ave.) and want to address the best case against him. That’s where I got most of the “facts.”

Charlotte Bennett was a 25-year-old aide to the governor, since resigned, who accused him of asking her about her sex life, whether she had sex with older men, if she thought age made a difference in romantic relationships. She felt this was a sexual overture, “understood” that he wanted to sleep with her and was uncomfortable and scared. There is no indication she ever asked him not to discuss sex with her, or in her words, showed him she was uncomfortable.

Lindsey Boylan, in her 30s, worked about 3 years for the state in the economic development agency. She became Chief of Staff. She was surprised that he paid attention to her when they met. She was warned by a co-worker to be careful around him.  She was told by her boss that he had a crush on her. He went out of his way to touch her lower back arms and legs, though I can find no detail on this – did he once pat her knee, or shoulder or back? If it is worse than just that, why have we not heard that from her?  In 2016, a co-worker told her that he thought she looked like his (supposed) old girlfriend Lisa and it was relayed to her through a co-worker that she should look “Lisa” up, and, that she was the “better looking sister.” He began calling her Lisa. In 2017 on a plane, sitting with a press aide and a state trooper, he said they should play “strip poker.” She wasn’t shocked. She responded (she says sarcastically) “That’s exactly what I was thinking.” After saying it, she felt she had been acquiescent. I think that means she felt she was flirtatious. I have spoken with women who have flirted with their bosses and then regretted it. One was a close friend who cried over having done so, because to some degree she felt she deserved his too enthusiastic dance with her. But, in the few instances I personally remember (admittedly, most, vaguely), the women were big enough to take responsibility for an increased interest by their boss.

Anna Ruch was also in her 30s at the time she met Cuomo at a wedding. She never worked for NY State or him. How is this even included? They had a discussion. He put his hand on her bare back and she removed it. He told her she was aggressive and putting his hands on her face asked if he could kiss her. She turned her head away but said she wasn’t able to speak. She does not say he actually kissed her or did anything to her. In other words, even without her saying “no,” he I think he took it for “no.” She said what infuriated her was that he physically dominated her and thought her taking his hand off her back should have been enough.

Karen Hinton, now 62, came out recently and said that in 2000, when she was 42, Cuomo gave her an unwelcome hug in his hotel room. He was at HUD at the time and she was a paid consultant who had worked for him previously and knew him well. She resisted a second hug and left, apparently without any problem at al. Cuomo completely denies this happened and says that she is a long-time political adversary. Certainly they had a contentious past when she had worked for him as a press aide. Often clashing, then making up.

Ana Liss, is now 35, also a former aide, and claims that she thinks he thought she was pretty, that he was friendly and flirtatious with her, often kissed her on the cheek to greet her and once kissed her hand. She did not think she would have been employed there if she was a man. She learned that she should wear heels and not to speak to him unless he spoke to her. She also thought it was a temperamentally explosive workplace that came from the top down. She wasn’t physically afraid of him, however thinks it was a “dangerous” workplace for women.

Cuomo has said that the way she describes his behavior is typical of him, he greets people by kissing and hugging. He now says that he realizes his behavior was wrong (I doubt he believes it; but famous people obviously feel they have to throw themselves under the bus a little to survive in the cancel culture) and if people were offended, he’s sorry. But, he still denies the other claims.

Anonymous. The sixth claim would be the strongest, of course, if it were true. An anonymous person claims that she was summoned at night to his mansion, and when alone with him he began reaching under her shirt and fondling her. He has completely denied that or anything like that happened. I repeat. An anonymous person. Which means no one should yet take it seriously without their being a good reason they are anonymous and proof of what happened. If you are shaking your head, imagine if someone anonymously accused you or a loved one of a sex crime – any crime, really. You would insist on knowing who it was and be infuriated if you were prosecuted or your reputation destroyed without it being said. Here, the media might act as if this claim is a proven fact, because the media is horrible, but it’s not consistent with any other of the claims.

Jessica Bakeman, is a seventh who has come forward. She was age 25 in 2014 when she claims “He took my hand, as if to shake it, then refused to let go. He put his other arm around my back, his hand on my waist, and held me firmly in place while indicating to a photographer he wanted us to pose for a picture.” That’s sexual harassment? Another time she claims during a conversation with reporters he put his arm around her. Okay, I wouldn’t do that. But, he’s a politician. And, she admits she said nothing. She didn’t work for him. She was a reporter and could have done something.

It gets worse. He once teased her about a purple phone (well, sorry, woman or not, it’s fair game for teasing – I don’t like purple myself) and for praising her for speaking over a male reporter and shutting him up. That’s harassment?

That was not harassment, even if it made people uncomfortable.

Has it become crazy to think that sexual harassment should have something to do with both sex and harassment? Sadly, actual sexual behavior or harassment is no longer required in many people’s mind – hence what is going on with Cuomo.  That’s the problem with the metoo movement. It went from concern for the genuine abuse of women in subordinate work positions to just being part of the age-old war between the sexes, amplified by the cancel culture. It became beyond ridiculous. Sexual harassment, at the edges, is by nature a vague and subjective topic. Of course, we should have some laws about it (the way I define it, of course) because sexual harassment or abuse is real and can be devastating.

I have always been open since the metoo movement that my own behavior when I was a young man, and the behavior of many men and women I knew, would be considered sexual harassment today by many people even if it was completely consensual and well-intentioned. Yet, the women who I am thinking of who could arguably say under today’s new rules applied retrospectively that I “harassed” them, remained friends with me long after we worked together and in some cases are still friends, some very good friends. In other words, they didn’t feel harassed. Considering the most aggressive thing I can think of doing with a co-worker, kissing her at the airport when she came to pick me up – I already knew it would be well received when I did it and even many years later she reminded me what of what fun she thought it was. The truth is, and I won’t expound (because it makes me look good) that I know what women I worked with generally thought because more than a few told me that they or others felt “safe” with me (which, though flattering, also felt a little insulting).

Now, I gave a lot of shoulder rubs to women I worked with who requested it, but would I just start with a women I had your typical non-flirtatious work relationship with, or put my hand on her bare lower back? No way. I almost always needed a lot of signals (although, of course that is subjective) from even a girl I was dating or met, before I would get physical.

Back in the day - and I presume people still do this in the real world – I sometimes began dating someone by actually kissing after getting to know someone and feeling the vibes. But, there were definitely times I tried flirting with women I didn’t know. Many times it went nowhere, but I don’t remember anyone reacting with anger or looking uncomfortable and it sometimes went well enough. That was without my being good looking or having what I think is still called a “rap” - but because I was usually (not always) careful about who I chose to try and flirt with. Most often I was reacting to them and the few times it was a stranger, I’d take baby steps. Perhaps sometimes the women weren’t as pleased as I was and I was none the wiser, but that doesn’t match up with the friendships or relationships that developed out of it.  I really don’t think anyone I worked with would have called me predatory or abusive, though, like I said, if they were looking at it through today’s prism, maybe. Did I ever offend anyone joking around in a non-sexual way? Absolutely. At least 5 times in my life that I remember – and I remember because it is upsetting to me if I offend someone (even, though, frankly, in some of those cases – they were far more offensive in joking than I was). Joke around enough and it is bound to happen.  

Based on what women I have been close enough with to discuss the subject (again, mostly when I was younger), it seems to me it is far more prevalent in college than in the workplace. This is not a surprise as most people grow up more after college. The most obvious type of abuse is unsolicited, unwanted touching. But, I don’t think it means all incidents of touching, even incident of kissing, etc. without more, are harassment.

The arbitrary rules that people who are supervisors can’t date their subordinates in many companies is just absurd and can ruin good careers for no good reason – because of course people are going to do it. My 30 year plus relationship started that way long before it was frowned upon (although she has been harassing me ever since). Many relationships have started that way and probably many still do despite the oppressive rules. It’s natural for people who see each other every day at work and get to know each other in a much more genuine way than in a bar, will date, particularly where an office is young. In my lifetime experiences, those relationships I observed in offices almost all ended well, that is, the relationships continued or, if it ended, was without harassment or revenge. Actual harassment or abuse was very rare that I saw.

This is part of what we are going through in our society, making some things illegal and punishing everyone because some people have bad experiences. I will give you a non-sexual example. By law, every seller of a house in NY has to give the buyer $500 at the closing. Why? The idea was that some people got defrauded when buying homes. So, the idiots in Albany passed a law so that sellers would have to fill out disclosure forms about the home, and by doing so, left themselves open to a lawsuit. Alternatively, the law allowed that the sellers could just pay the buyers $500 and avoid the risk. The problem was and is – every attorney has their client pay the $500. I’ve never seen it not happen (though I guess it has to have happened at some time). So where’s the protection from fraud? There really is none. It just costs every seller $500 for no reason. It’s the same with banning office dating. You are punishing people who would otherwise have relationships because for some people there might potentially be harassment or abuse.

I can well understand someone thinking that being a woman and having a 60-something guy like Cuomo come on to them is gross or creepy. I feel that way and I’m in my 60s. But, it does happen all the time and some women actually even seek older men – particularly if the man is rich or famous. There’s a reason so many hideous millionaires or celebrities have beautiful young women on their arm. Remember, we don’t get to hear Cuomo’s success stories and it would be harmful to his case if he raised them now, so don’t count on it.

I acknowledge that my own reaction of feeling a tad creeped out by Cuomo’s actions, shared by so many, is absolutely ageist, something few people seem to recognize or consider when they are jumping to find sexual harassment. Now, if anyone said to Cuomo, “please don’t do that” or “stop,” then he had to stop, or he was harassing them (not reported that I see). And no, he couldn’t, say, grab one of these women he barely knew and just “French” kiss her. Of course not.

Though I have not worked in an office for many years, I also remember from when I worked somewhere that sometimes comments were deemed offensive depending on who spoke them. I worked in one office where I had a very friendly relationship with my female co-workers and still do though it is decades later. No one was dating amongst us at all, but I could say almost anything to them and they would laugh. Our boss, who would acknowledge hitting on every women in the world, could get away with saying a lot, though not as much. A co-worker, who the girls didn’t like so much (though I think he was a nice man, he looked a little at women a little too hard for everyone’s comfort, including mine), was not allowed any “blue” comments. It was completely unfair. Based on what I have observed, that is often the case in the work world, and it’s not fair that one man’s flirtation or joke is another man’s harassment (again, unless there was a request to stop).

Of course, we also don’t know from the fragments we have about the Cuomo claims whether any of it was triggered by what would have looked like to many people as the women’s romantic interest in Cuomo. The “woke” generally deal with this by saying it is offensive even to raise it. Naturally, he’s the boss and people are always going to act interested in some way, but we also know that expressing romantic or sexual interest is different. Yes, absolutely some men do find even a smile or greeting as a sexual come on, but most women never have a problem with their boss hitting on them just because they are nice to them. I’m sure some people would disagree with me, but I don’t think that generally, a man looking at a woman with interest or vice versa (or man/man, woman/woman, for that matter) is harassment, though if it is intense or done at weird times, in weird ways, or is too persistent, of course it could be (again, “please stop” is appropriate, even with a boss).

I never felt sexually harassed in my life, though I have had women I was not interested in be overtly sexual or too familiar with me (very rarely a man). I’ve been brushed up against (I hear that’s harassment now – I guess if done enough it is), I’ve been sexually joked with and teased, propositioned, definitely demeaned (a few times by angry women in a really rough way, etc. I didn’t take it personally and it never occurred to me to bring a claim against anyone. It’s just part of life and I doubt very much my experiences were abnormal. Sometimes I have been stung by what someone said to me, even if they were joking, or thought it was a little cruel. I got over it immediately. What would I have done if it was worse? I can’t say because details are everything. Or they should be. In the new world order, that doesn’t seem to matter so much – just that someone was offended, maybe even years later. I tried to teach my daughter how to deal with abuse at work and I know she got it. We should teach all of your children how to deal with harassment at work, sexual or otherwise, and what to do when we are offended. It has to depend on what is done and the reaction should be appropriate.

So, I’ll stop there on the topic of whether he harassed these women, if the accusations were true. My answer is no again, the groping accusation doesn’t get credence from me while anonymous. Dozens of people in my life have greeted me with a kiss on the cheek, even on the lips. Sometimes I am surprised, but not offended.  If I go to kiss someone on the cheek because I think it is expected and they don’t seem too keen on it, I will back up big time and not do it again. It’s not harassment or even sexual (though, again, I guess if you make it weird, it could be). Though holding someone’s face seems a little weird for me – I think women hate it – it only looks right on the movie screen - for some people it’s not weird.

But, now, I have to add I don’t believe any of it except Ms. Liss’s claim, which in my opinion was literally nothing. It may be true that she is right that she got to work there because she was attractive. Maybe she wasn’t qualified (I am not sure if she is implying that, but maybe). I kind of got the feeling, if you read her statement, that she likes pointing out that she is attractive. I’m not saying that to punish her (as if she will read this) but because she said it more than once and because there was no actual harassment.

Why don’t I believe them? One, after the Kavanaugh case and the cascade of lies associated with it (not just by Prof. Ford) and the absurd, vicious behavior of the Democrats and their allies, most of all the media, with respect to it, I am very jaded. I know many people who reacted the same. Of course, it has never been true that women never lie about rape or harassment. Of course they do. Tawana Brawley, Crystal Mangum (Duke University “Rape” case,) everyone who accused Kavanaugh, are a few examples among many. Now, Anita Hill – I thought she told the truth, but the idea that what she described was harassment was crazy to me. Women lie like men lie, and when things are political, it is just too hard to believe them, especially now, in the cancel culture and post-Kavanaugh hearing age.

I could be wrong, of course. I have no crystal ball to tell me who is telling the truth. But, unfortunately, people like those women I named above who definitively lied, and usually suffered no consequences, make it harder to believe others. It used to be that I found it more likely there was harassment or abuse when a number of women came forward (like with Cosby and Weinstein). After Kavanaugh, I can’t believe it at all in political cases, just based on someone’s claim. However, and this is speculation, if I know women personally and trust their integrity, I do believe them and I would believe most women in a non-political case. Unfortunately, few of us have that luxury when cases are public.

There are other reasons not to believe Cuomo’s accusers. Karen Hinton’s claims are 2o-21 years ago. It doesn’t mean it is not true, but it is a reason for me to doubt it. She did not work for him and could have complained. He wasn’t even governor then. And of course I do not take “anonymous” seriously at all.

If Cuomo is impeached for sexual harassment, they are going to have to shoot Biden. My last point is about the political hypocrisy that permeates our system concerning harassment. If Cuomo’s described acts were reason to impeach him, what about Biden? I mean, have you seen the videos? They are astonishing, cringe worthy and far more plentiful than the complaints against Cuomo. All done in plain view.

Here is one of many. (62) Is Joe Biden's Touchiness Out Of Touch? Revisit His Mock Swear-Ins | NBC News - YouTube . Watch how many women he kisses on the lips, little kids he creepily touches, young girls he makes suggestions about their looks to or about dating, and particularly watch 2:00-2:04 where he puts his hand right near a women’s breast. Watch her face. Another time he does the same thing is shown earlier. The thing is, these are only a handful of the many times he’s done this in his life. His wife finally had to promise it would not happen again when he was running for president.

If you want, read about the 8 women, including Tara Reade, who came forward and said that he made them feel uncomfortable, invaded their personal space and the like. With Reade, it was way more as she accused him of digitally violating her while he groped her.  Do I believe Tara Reade and the others? Yes, because you can see Biden do cringe-worthy stuff on video and can know it is who he is.

Here’s another video. (62) Biden touching girls compilation (RAW CSPAN FOOTAGE) - YouTube Watch and cringe. Notice the first little girl he gets too close to and her reaction. She’s obviously uncomfortable. Watch the second one, who seems to be having a good time and laughing at him. But, watch his hand at 2:31-3:01. Why is his hand there at all, just below her breast? Why would anyone think that this is okay to do with any age woman? Watch the next one. He’s not as near the breast in this one, but why in God’s name does he have his hand there on a young girl at all? She’s not his date. I could go on and on. Why is he playing with that young girl’s hair? I get it if he knows her very well, but he doesn’t. More important, she doesn’t know him. It’s just weird. Here’s another. (62) Creepy Uncle Joe - YouTube.  Just go to 00:30-42 and look at the pictures. Look at the first photograph on the left. I couldn’t find it on video but I’ve seen it. He came so close to her breasts that she had to put her hands on top of his.

You want to see a man pin a woman to him during a photo op? Watch Biden on the tarmac with Hillary Clinton. (69) Watch Joe Biden give an endless hug to Hillary Clinton - YouTube. This was just distressing to watch and I don’t like her either. She actually taps out on his arm, meaning, let go of me, you moron. He takes his time.

Wait a second!!! Did I say Biden was hypocritical? We are going to need a new word for Biden, perhaps, hyperhypocritical. Today he said through his press secretary that the allegations against Cuomo were troubling and hard to read. Troubling? Hard to read? This from a man who is accused by 8 women of worse than Cuomo is accused of, including, by a named actual person, Tara Reade, of  . . . (you know).  Hmm, will the press call him out on it? Hmmmm? Hmmmm?

Enough is enough. Biden and his defenders are not the only hypocrites. Cuomo is too. Look at him protesting his innocence and now calling the complaints against him part of “cancel culture.” He is part of the cancel culture. Not only was he aggressively against Kavanaugh (he felt he had to take a lie detector test, even though they are so unreliable, they are not admissible in court unless everyone agrees). He was very active in bringing the new affirmative consent law to colleges, where sexual assault is a big problem, by determining that when sex is had, it is automatically deemed non-consensual if there is not affirmative consent given. In my experience, the consexual sex is the affirmation. Written or verbal question and response is something that probably rarely happens. According to this rule, if a women goes to bed with a man, and is silent, she can claim rape or assault. Even if they have a previous sexual history she can do this. Even if they try a new position she can.  Believe me, I hate sexual assault of any kind. All sex should be consensual. But, the idea that most college kids are going to know the law and have conversations assenting to sex is absurd, when it is often awkward enough, will likely lead to great injustices.

“Enough is enough” they say, as the basis for this law, but they went the wrong way. How about go back to male and female dorms, ban drinking and drugs on campuses (even pot will be legal soon) and put a lot more lights up around campus instead. And, though the “woke” are so keen on forcing people to take courses or watch videos on a lot of subjects, they don’t think that maybe educating young girls going to college of the dangers of getting drunk at a party or going off alone with a boy, and so on, is a good idea. In my experience (again, from when I was young), even many intelligent young women seemed clueless about putting themselves at risk and often rued it. Still, when this is suggested today – that young girls not make themselves vulnerable to assault, the person who recommends it is often accused of blaming the victim.

Of course, the media is obviously beyond mere accusations of hypocrisy. These are some of the worst and most hypocritical people in America, perhaps on earth. I heard a CNN reporter online compare Cuomo to disgraced former NY Attorney General Eric Schneiderman, who was accused of actual violence against women and eventually took responsibility for it. It bears no resemblance to the accusations against Cuomo (except for the yet unimportant anonymous complaint).

Cuomo, possibly should possibly be impeached (after investigation finding he did cover up deaths) on the nursing home claims. He should not be impeached or forced to resign over the sexual harassment claims without actual harassment being shown, despite his own and his fellow Democrats’ insidious hypocrisy, bullying and attempts to make prisoners of us all in the workplace and elsewhere. Even federal lawmakers like Schumer, Gillibrand, Pelosi, AOC, etc., are piling on him without even considering applying the same standard to Biden.  

But, this is your party, Andrew. See what it's like for the rest of us?

Enough is enough!

Post script 3/21/21:   Oh, no. Yet another woman alleges sexually harassment against Cuomo. Fondling? Nope. Attempted rape? No. Insults? No.  He allegedly ogled her (probably looked at her), commented on her looks (how?) and made suggestive remarks. Again, how?  This one works for him presently. I have not changed my opinion at all. Same old, same old. What is most shocking, is that many people I have spoken with have no idea what the allegations are, and just presume it is actual harassment.  I know for a fact many women do not believe appreciative comments on looks or someone looking at you is harassment or makes a "hostile work environment (although I agree, if anything is exaggerated or over the top it could make it so). People need to speak up.