David the Divider

So, wow. I'm been writing this blog for about 14 years, for much of it once a week and now, until recently, once a month. The last couple of months during the BLM and other crises, it's been more often. Usually, during its "history," a few people read it any given week and though there are a couple (literally) of steady readers over the years, those who read it changes all the time, and the "circulation" never gets very large. Not surprised. It's always nice to be read and everyone likes compliments (I enjoy the insults too), but, if I had been in charge of marketing, say, Christianity, you never would have heard of it. It has received, per Google, 145,000 or so page views in its lifetime (some blogs get millions a DAY), to be honest, a large percentage of that has to be spam. I'm not the Huffington Post.

But, last week, I got a momentary huge spike. I mean, for me. 250 page views one day, and a few other days large numbers. 

The title of this is David the Divider, but that is mostly tongue and cheek, because most of those who read it as a result of my daughter and gf's posting it on facebook seemed to like it (or so I hear). I will explain what I mean. But, some really did not.

Let me go back first in time to September. One of the people I'm closest with, and really a terrific person, ix generally politically very liberal and pro-BLM. He stopped speaking with me after I gave my evalovin' gf a chunk of links I was posting (or had posted, I forget) in my blog, which detailed the threatening and violent nature of BLM. I gave them to her because he was debating her on her Facebook page (and both were polite), challenging her about her support for Trump. He suggested that on her side were Kyle Rittenshouse, who is a martyr in my and her book, and two crazed mass murderers, who, if you research, you would see, have nothing to do with Trump or he with them. So, I gave her the links to show that BLM, which he had always supported and claimed wasn't violent, was in fact, extremely dangerous znc made repeated violent threats. She published it on her page in response to him, telling him they were from me. The language I gave her not only gave the links, but indicated that if you support them, you are supporting fascists. I meant it as a warning to the unaware rather than an insult, but, let's assume it was insulting to him.  He felt it was calling him and his friends fascists (which, neither I or my gf had said - I don't even know his friends) and were disparaging his "social justice work." Honestly, I still don't know what "social justice work" means (though I generally oppose social justice, as it is often another name for racism), or that he considered what he did "work." 

He texted me later telling me to "lose" his info if that is what we thought. I suggested it was pointless to text out an argument (though I know he prefers that) but explained, or tried to. After we went back and forth a few times, I  declined to go further without personally speaking, and he said he was "done." 

Shame? Of course. But, as I've learned, saying to Trump supporters that it is unacceptable to be one, that they are racists and/or, playing the "I'm not talking to you anymore," is just one more technique that has become imbedded in the "resistance," even if its unconscious. They are taught by example to try to twist you to be on their side by getting angry or making life uncomfortable. "No justice, no peace," right? Their outrage is, after Kavanaugh, Russia, the impeachment, etc., more than a little suspect from the onset. Yes, I'm sure they don't like hearing what they think is wrong (who does?) but, no, I don't believe they are outraged, anymore than I believe it when an employee says they don't feel safe when they don't like a co-worker's opinion. It's another technique. 

BTW, this same person who has stopped calling me, has repeatedly called DT a "fascist," as do many, without even suggesting why and also a racist many times, knowing that I, albeit reluctantly, support Trump. Somehow, in their minds, it is alright for him/them to suggest I support racists/fascists, but not the reverse. Come to think of it, he has called me a racist directly too and feels that is alright (though, I have to admit, he did it in the nicest way, if you can believe it). On the other hand, he has also said because he is white, he must admit he himself is a racist - though I sincerely doubt he believes it from our conversations. And, you know what? He can call me a racist, etc. and I don't get mad at him - at all. I think its crazy talk, but I didn't get mad at him. I have lots of friends and family who have opinions about me that I don't particularly like. That's life. But, although on rare, rare occasion, I have gotten mad at a friend, it has never been because of their political opinion. Should I get a medal? No. That's what we are supposed to do. Or at least, it used to be the case.

I've been through this before, a little, although this is my first, not talking to you. A couple of years ago, one long-time friend, who early on admitted to having Trump Derangement Syndrome, invited me to his house. He said "X" about Trump, and I, thinking we were having a discussion, said my usual - I don't like him much but I felt he was far better than "the resistance." He became outraged, twisted up a red face and said that if I insisted on talking about it, he was going to go upstairs. It was his house, and I was a guest, so I thought that a little much. I pointed out that he was the one talking about it and I just disagreed, and we just left off with him saying we shouldn't talk about it anymore. Naturally, every once in a while, he would throw in a jibe and say he couldn't help himself and we still shouldn't talk about it. Okay. That was a while back and I didn't have my back up about it like now.

And I have had a few other friends in the past few months who I didn't even know hated Trump say to me "let's just not discuss it" if I indicated I would vote for him. Okay. I prefer that to fighting with friends. One person I know told me a month ago we shouldn't speak until after the election. I said "Good idea," because I could tell she was getting infuriated (via email). But, she's a tough cookie (boy, is that an old expression) who, for example, if you say you don't believe in late-term abortion (like the overwhelming no. of Americans) will say you that you want women to bleed to death in alleys. But, she was always like that. Trump just makes it worse for her and he is very good at getting people to hate him. In any event, a week later she was emailing me and seemed to want to just not talk about it. 

If this was just my experience, it wouldn't be worth a post, and I'd just tell a few friends. I have had heard from others that they can't discuss Trump or almost anything with family who are really liberal or radical, because they will stop talking to them. And, I've read articles on the left, suggesting that they do just that. Many parents I know just try not to piss off their kids, who tend, at least generally, to be more liberal/radical. A couple of years ago I also had a conversation at someone else's family dinner with their family radical. We were discussing the Kavanaugh hearing. It was upsetting to her at first, and she teared up, but after a while she got it (I made an effort to calm her down without taking back a word), even if we couldn't agree, and we had an interesting conversation until her mother panicked and we had to stop. The truth was, like most of my friends, she was media-shielded from actual facts (e.g., she thought the R Senators were yelling at Prof. Ford, when they didn't even question her themselves).

Recently, another person I know who I got on well with, but an unapologetic Trump hater, told me at a party something that Trump needed to go because he "admitted" that he had committed a crime with Ukraine and we can't have that. Leaving aside how ridiculous the argument is to say he committed a crime (the Ds certainly didn't go with it in impeaching him) and equally that Joe Biden is actually on video demanding a quid pro quo that Ukraine fire someone in exchange for money and they could care less - what she said never happened. The only quote from Trump was that he didn't want a quid pro quo, that he didn't want anything except he wanted the president of Ukraine to do what he promised (clean up corruption). 

The anger is mounting. Close to elections, it always is, but as this is the worst hate I've ever seen since the '60s, some of it has become volcanic, and, like the violence, mostly on the left. Last week my daughter posted the link from my blog on her Facebook page and said nice things like that I had taught her to be fair and listen to both sides and that I actually read or watch things that are under discussion to form my opinion. Although, ironically, I didn't actually read her Facebook post, as I despise Facebook, but that's what I'm told she wrote. Most of her "friends" were very positive and my evalovin' gf also put in on her Facebook page, such that my page views, relatively speaking for me, briefly shot through the roof - my page views briefly jumped to some 25 times my norm. It's probably back to normal now, especially as yesterday I posted on art.     

But, a few of her friends on the left were infuriated at her posting my blog. One of her closest friends for most of her life emailed her or sent a private message (I don't completely know how Facebook works) to politely, even regrettably, say she had to step back from the relationship (I think maybe her sister too, although not sure how far that went). This was just from my daughter suggesting, essentially, try to be fair and consider both sides. Another woman, a friend of her mother, said something like there is no - "you being you" - with Trump. In other words, there is only one side to the argument - her side. She also insisted my daughter should take down a video she put up showing that Trump actually did denounce white supremacists. The same person who told me we shouldn't talk until after the election went on for a day or so peppering her with political questions. I think the point was to try to prove that my daughter was ill-informed (which, is what that same person told me I was), which was the only way, in her view, you could support Trump or say you should listen to his side too. 

A brother and sister I know who are fairly close aren't speaking right now over politics. He is on the right, she on the left. Again, she stopped speaking with him, although he admits he understands that what he wrote would upset her. Yet, I know her too and she says what she thinks, and doesn't really seem to want their to be another side.  

I've honestly never seen it like this before. Friends and family members are apparently posting (I'm told - again, not on Facebook) that if you vote for Trump you are a racist. I guess I could get angry by that.. It is very insulting. And some people do get angry at it. But, I shrug it off because I know it isn't the case and I believe they are deluded or ill-informed. That's my take. They don't have to like it.

I do find that those who won't talk about it or get really angry about it are often very ill-informed themselves. When they back themselves up at my request, the information is factually false or it is an opinion not based on a whole lot. I find that the problem is generally that they get all their news from CNN (or the like) and trust them. I make factual errors sometimes, it's human, and everyone I know does, but, when I have an opinion and write about it here, it's because I studied it some, watched whatever hearing or debate we are talking about, or caught up later on it. And, if I haven't done that, I say so and tell you its just a guess. I don't just repeat what I heard on tv (always exceptions - but I often say, I don't know, but that's what I hear). No one has given me a real reason that Trump is a racist or a fascist except because they feel he is, or, some gross exaggeration of what he actually said or did. Someone recently said to me via text that he didn't like the way he says "Chinese," and that makes him racist. Please. I've heard Joe Biden say "white men" like its a disease. I presume he is playing to his base and doesn't really hate them (although scared of what playing to his base will insist). We already know that if you think Trump is playing to his base, that it hasn't empowered white supremacists (of whom, I have explained recently, there are apparently only a few thousand in Klan/Neo-Nazies groups). White Supremacists are the same idiots they ever were, occasionally violent, but dwarfed by BLM/Antifa in size and funding.

Of course, there are Ds and liberals with whom it is easy to talk with about politics even if you disagree. I have had many conversations with Ds/liberals who I disagree with. Of course, some Rs and conservatives are just obnoxious or crazy in conversations too, so much so that I don't even like agreeing with them in public because I don't want to be associated with them.  But, even among them, and they often disagree with me too - but I don't think one has ever said to me we can't discuss it or became enraged. They always want to talk about it. Yes, this is all anecdotal, but, so is my experience with gravity and I feel pretty sure about it.

Of course, this stuff works and people give and just take it. Many people, faced with rage or outrage over politics, or even hurt feelings, give way over matters of principle. I'm not saying I never would, although, it's not my personality to do so. A word or phrase, like "racist!"  or "Black Lives Matter," is always better than a reasoned argument if you want to convince many people in this world.  I think the big push before the election will be to just keep repeating the word racist or racism as much as possible and claiming, falsely, that Trump wants to do away with no exclusions for pre-existing conditions. 

This is what I told the friend who felt I was insulting his "social justice work." Nobody has to discuss anything with me (I was very reluctant with him, as with many people, to discuss it at all, but he persisted even before the dreaded Facebook episode and seemed fine with it). And, I rather they didn't if they are going to get their feelings hurt or insulted, but, no one gets to engage me in a discussion and then tell me what opinion of mine acceptable or not - not even my own daughter. And, if they do get insulted, and don't want to discuss anything with me anymore, that's a shame, but they don't get to guilt me into having an opinion. Try persuading me I am wrong. It is possible. 

These are difficult times. I like my friends and rather they didn't go away over political differences. But, somethings are too important to yield on. Free speech and my getting to express my opinion too, is up near the top. If my opinion divides us - then, really, it's your opinion dividing us. The difference is, I'm not disowning them (yet - I guess you never know).